I know my previous blog was bleak but can't deny that I feel hopeless and overwhelmed at times and I have a hard time hiding it. The numb disinterest in everything is slowly fading and it's replaced by a raw, scraped feeling that makes me a lightening rod for every heightened emotion that filters by. I'm painfully aware that things will never be normal again for me.

I started this blog to keep everyone updated on Michael's progress. Everyone is now telling me I need to keep blogging but I find myself having a hard time trying to put my feelings into words....and why would anyone possibly want to hear all this crap. I'm sick, I'm sad, I'm angry, I'm lonely, I'm empty, I'm terrified, I'm lost, I'm paralyzed, I'm heartbroken, I'm lifeless...what else is there to say.

Saying that I miss Michael doesn't even come close to what I feel right now. The stress has finally caught up with me and I've been sick the last couple of days. Believe it or not, Michael was really good at taking care of me when I was sick....he would stop and get me medicine and make hot tea or pick up some soup. I'm walking around in a fevered daze feeling sorry for myself. Hopefully I'll feel better soon and I'll be able to dig my way out of this dark place.