I thought I was doing so well yesterday...I think I only cried twice. But I don't know what happened today.
For some reason I remembered one of the last times I was able to communicate with Michael. I think it was the Thursday before he passed away. Walter had come home and Michael wasn't able to say much or respond to us but I was always talking to him. I said, "Hon, Walt's here." and he moaned a little so I told him I would give him some more morphine. I started to cry and I bent over and kissed him on the head and I said "I love you" and he mumbled "I love you too". My heart stopped....Walt and I both froze....did he just say what I think he said? I couldn't believe what I had just heard. Is it possible to be so happy and so sad at the very same moment?
Why does this scene keep playing over and over again in my head?? The tears just keep streaming down my face...why today??
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
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