I met Michael at the GI's office today and when I got there he was having an incredible amount of pain in his arms and collar bones. We went in to see the doctor and Michael was ready to start writhing around on the floor in pain. The doctor sent us to the ER. They loaded him up with dilaudid to alleviate the pain which helped pretty quickly. They did the ultrasound which was scheduled for today and realized that he has gallstones and he might have passed one through the common bile duct. I was initially relieved at this news but that was quickly followed by frustration. The doctors don't want to perform surgery on him to remove his gallbladder because they are worried he his is too fragile and won't heal well from the surgery. The other option is to send a scope down to see if there is a blockage and possibly remove it. The doctor, however, still thinks this procedure is risky. So instead they want to do some more scans to see if the common bile duct is blocked. They can't get him in for the scans until Jan 11. I feel like I'm chasing my tail! So we're home now and we're both trying to recover from this incredibly stressful day.

We got to the hospital at 7 AM this morning and Michael weighed in at 173. They gave Michael 2 units of fresh frozen plasma to ensure his blood was clotting. Then we waited for the surgeon. At about 11:30 AM he started the abdominal tap. The doctor took out 4 liters of fluid from Michael's belly. He could have easily taken more but he was reluctant to do so because he was worried his blood pressure would drop. The procedure only lasted about 20 minutes which consisted of waiting for the 4 empty bottles to fill up with the yucky yellow fluid that had accumulated. About 5 minutes after the doctor was done and gone Michael started experiencing severe pain at the injection site. He said the pain ranked a 10 which is bad. The wonderful nurses loaded him up with morphine and we waited for the pain to subside which took about 30 minutes or so. We got him back on the scale and he was down to 165...he had lost 8 lbs! That's how miserable he was!! I am not kidding when I say he looked like he was about 11 months pregnant! We got home about 3 PM. They are not sure how long before the fluid accumulates again...but it will. His liver is not functioning. His bilirubin was 18. Chemo is no longer an option.

He goes tomorrow to see the gastroenterologist and to have an ultrasound done of his liver. He is sick of me hovering over him so I am going to work tomorrow. I'll probably leave to go with him to see the gastroenterologist. I can only hope and pray that the doctor finds something that can be done to improve Michael's liver function. Please....everybody pray.....

Well....we didn't make it to Chicago this weekend. I was disappointed but my disappointment was soon overcome by worry about Michael's condition. He really had me worried on Saturday and I almost had him convinced to go to the ER to have the swelling in his belly drained. He is soooooo jaundice right now. I don't know if draining his belly will help with the jaundice but I can only hope. He felt better today, or I should say he didn't feel as bad today. I've read that there are a number of reasons that would cause his liver to not function properly and I'm just hoping that the damage can be reversed and he doesn't go into complete liver failure. Chemo is very hard on the liver especially a liver that is diseased. I'm holding out that the doctor at Froedtert has some good ideas for us.

Merry Christmas!!! I hope everyone is having a wonderful day! I deliberated about waiting to post but cancer doesn't take a holiday. We spent the better part of yesterday at the doctors office. We went in to get the results of the CT from Wednesday. They weren't good. It appears that the lessions in the lungs have gotten bigger which indiciates they are cancer. And there appears to be some "caking" in the abdomin which means the cancer has spread to his stomach. His bilirubin is up to 13 and his belly is horribly distended. They tried to get him into a surgeon to relieve the swelling and a gastroenterologist to take a look at his liver but that's not easy to do over the holidays. We're suppose to go to Chicago tomorrow but I'm not sure Michael will be able to make it. If he's on his feet at all, the fluid from his belly goes right to his feet and ankles. The doctor seems to think Michael quit responding to treatment a few weeks ago...even though his tumor markers keep going down. He believes that Michael's liver is shutting down...so of course he felt the need to discuss a DNR with Michael. He wanted to admit him to the hospital but that obviously didn't happen. It was a LONG day!

So....my approach is to try and pretend like yesterday didn't happen! Just kidding!! I'm going to search high a low on Monday to find a surgeon to remove the fluid in Michael's belly next week. He is very uncomfortable. We go to Freodtert on the Jan 7 which I am going to see if we can move up but I'm skeptical because of the holiday. I'm praying that all the pressure from the fluid is preventing his liver from functioning properly. Yes, I'm grasping at straws but it's all I have right now.

I am so frustrated right now!! Michael saw the doctor today and had some blood work done. His bilirubin is now up to 11. The doctor wants to do another CT scan on Thursday. He thinks one of the tumors in his liver has gotten bigger over the last few days and now he thinks that Michael can't continue with chemo. We are scheduled to see a doctor at Freodtert January 7. I'm just not sure he should go without chemo for 4 weeks. And now Michael thinks there's nothing left to do. I've done lots of reading and there are a lot of things that can be done and there is other chemo that can be tried...

It was a hard weekend. Michael's body just doesn't want to cooperate with the things he wants to do. Any simple task exhausts him and he has to sit down and rest...even taking a shower depletes his energy. Once again, both his legs are terribly swollen which means he can't do much walking around. I don't think the jaundice has gotten any worse but he's still pretty yellow. The jaundice makes him itch and he's constantly scratching. His INR is back up to 7 again and the excess scratching causes bleeding which is hard to stop. His appetite is good and he's eating well...I just wish he felt better during this break from chemo.

I was pretty excited to see that Michael was up to 163 lbs yesterday. He definitely feels better this week. I'm sure the break will be good for him mentally and physically. His eyes are yellow and his face is a little yellow. I'm trying to get him to eat as much fruit & vegetables as I can while he feels good in the hopes that it will help his liver function. If his bile duct is blocked they might need to put in a shunt for drainage. But for now we're going to enjoy the holidays & the break from chemo!!

Michael & his doctor decided that he should take this week and next week off from chemo. His tumor markers are down to 296 which is good. The scary news is that his bilirubin is up to 4. That's higher than it's ever been. The highest it was when we started was 2.8. The doctor thinks that the tumor in his liver is getting bigger. Michael is glad he's taking a break from chemo but it worries me that his bilirubin is so high. I'm going to make an appointment with another doctor to see if anyone has any other ideas.

They finally got his INR straightened out with the transfusion. He was down to 1.1 yesterday so he's back on the coumadin. Hopefully he won't have to go through that again! He's been plagued with stomach pains still. Not sure what that's about. Michael's friend Andy was kind enough to send us a gift certificate for 2 nights at the Chicago Marriott so we're planning on doing that after Christmas. I'm looking forward to it...we'll try and pretend for a few days that everything is perfectly normal...no doctors or hospitals!

Michael's INR is still way too high. He is in danger of spontaneously bleeding. So on Friday he had to have a plasma transfusion. He had 2 units of fresh frozen plasma, a Neulasta shot (for his white blood cell count) and a vitamin K shot so it was a very long day. The fresh frozen plasma is suppose to prevent blood loss by increasing the amount of blood clotting factors. He goes back in on Monday to have his INR checked to see if his blood is clotting or if he needs more fresh frozen plasma. He is very tired and weak. I hope the fresh frozen plasma has some secret energy boosting properties!

I am completely mentally and physically exhausted! My boss gave me a gift certificate for a 45 foot reflexology massage and I plan on taking advantage of that very soon. The thought of someone rubbing my feet for 45 minutes sounds sooooo luxurious!

Well....Michael's tumor markers didn't go down much this week. They went from 393 to 332 but at least they are still going down. In an effort to help with the nosebleeds, I set up the humidifier about a foot from Michael's head and I run it on high all night long and it seems to be working. The only difficulty right now is his back pain and his INR. Normal INR (blood clotting factor) is 2.4 and he's been up over 7 for a week which means his blood is really thin which also means he is cold ALL THE TIME. It probably has a lot to do with his nosebleeds as well. It's going to be a long cold winter.