I have decided to stop posting to the blog. I wanted to discontinue the blog awhile ago but I was persuaded to keep it going. There have been some anonymous comments posted to the blog, somebody that doesn't have the courage to admit who they are but I'm sure we can all pretty much figure out who it was.

Michael & I have been married for 17 years and have been together for almost 21 years. Walt & Andy are my family. Unfortunately something that was meant to honor Michael and inform our close friends and family of our status has turned into someones hateful, selfish, bitter rant. Michael knew for 5 months that he was dying....he made his peace with everyone that he felt he needed to.

I appreciate all my friends that have supported me through this incredibly painful time. I love you all and I look forward to hearing from you.

Jerryl

I don’t really know how to put into words what I’m feeling right now….it’s like I’m in a state of limbo…like I don’t have a place in the world….like I’m watching my life from far away. The words “life goes on” comes to mind but I feel like my life is going on without me. I’ve tried to make several changes in my day to day life but nothing seems to help me connect with reality. Do I stay here? Do I buy a house? Do I sell the boat? And to make matters worse, certain members of my family have decided that their wants and needs take priority over everything else. How is it possible that they are concerned about “things” at this point??? It’s all I can do to get through everyday without having a complete breakdown. Their insensitivity is draining. I feel like they are eating away at what little sanity I have left.

Mesa & Stella are still very needy and clingy. I’m not sure if it’s because they sense my sadness and uncertainty. The two of them just stare out the door at me when I have to leave. It breaks my heart but I don’t know what to do for them.